Fashion: The Red Shoes

Have you ever seen such a perfect pair of red shoes? Do you even own red shoes? I think they are officially a must have. If you don't believe me, go to a shoe store, and try a pair on. Tell me how you feel. Part of you will feel like you're 4 years old again, slipping into your red, shiny, fat-strapped mary janes (the red ones, of course). And then the other part of you will realize that these are not shiny, and they don't have straps, and you are 2 inches taller as soon as you slip them on. And damn, you'll feel like a woman.

I just got these. And they will go with everything. The lady in the cute little boutique store said to me, and I quote, "They'll look great with jeans!" I saw Amy Sedaris on David Letterman a few weeks ago, and she said, "What's with sales ladies always telling you to buy something because it will look great with jeans?"

I replied to the lady, "I know, they will."

And then I said, gushing, "You can wear the most normal outfit in the world, and then put on a pair of red shoes like these, and suddenly, you're not normal anymore. You're something more."

She leaned close with a knowing nod and said, almost hushed, "That's right. You're fabulous."

These are the new fabulous shoes I have to tell you about. Purchased today for $64. Otherwise known as the low, low price of, "I'm keeping these puppies for life".