Video: Pound

By Evan Bernard

Product: Royal Canine

Indulge me. I have to talk about my cat.

At first I thought it was the change in temperature, but then I wasn't so sure. Poor little feline was throwing up a lot. I'd wake up in the morning, and there it would be on the rug. I'd come home from work, and there it would in front of the door. I'd get ready for bed, and there it would be in the hallway. Nasty, nasty. And no, these weren't hairballs. Triple nasty.

I didn't know what to do. And I'm embarrassed to say, I haven't taken her to the vet in years. Not since she was a kitten and got all her shots. I don't know, it just didn't seem necessary. She was fine! She never left my apartment! She was the giddiest cat ever.

But this seemed serious. So I called a vet in town. They asked me how I got their number and I told them it was because the previous tenant in my apartment had left their magnet on my fridge when I moved in.

The doctor was on vacation so I got an appointment the next day with the man who was covering for her. My cat saw me take the carrying case out in the morning, and disappeared under the bed. After failed attempts at pleading, begging and bargaining on my part, I resorted to food manipulation to get her out from under there. Like a charm, she was out. And 2 seconds later, in the carrying case. Sucker.

At the doctor's office, I could feel their shame in me when I told them I hadn't brought her to the vet in years. "You know she needs to have her teeth cleaned," the doctor told me, pulling back my traumatized cat's mouth, exposing her fangs. "We'd need to clean these, and potentially pull out necessary extractions."

"I never heard of brushing a cat's teeth before," I said increduously, in the vet office of my rich suburban town.

"Do you have pet insurance?" they asked me, handing me the brochure.

"Do I have what?

After feeling my cat's intenstines with his hands, listening to her heart, and weighing her, he said that he'd need to run a battery of tests on her to see what the ailment was.

"Tests for what?"

"For anything," he said. "And I'd rather be serious about it now and tell you the worst case scenario, then let you think that everything will be fine, only to give you bad news down the road."

"Bad news like what?"

"Anything. Leukemia...." He kept the list going for a good 30 seconds. Then he printed out a list of all the tests and blood work they'd have to do. The total came to $432.

"400 dollars??" I exclaimed from my chair. My cat was pouncing all over the room, smelling the scale and the door handles and the cotton balls.

"And 32." He said. "432 dollars."

"Can't I just, change her food or something? Can't we just start with that?"

"I don't know what to tell you," he said. "If it was my cat, I would do it."

I sat there silently. I stared at the list, then at my cat, then at the list. "Maybe you should call your parents," he said.

"Maybe I need to think about this," I said.

I picked my cat up from the floor and plopped her back in the carrier. I went home. I went online and found a gourmet pet store. I drove over there a few minutes later.

I said to the man, "My cat's been throwing up. I need the best food you've got."

With barely a word, he led me to the back of the store and handed me a free sample of Royal Canine. "Best food on the market," he said.

I took it home and emptied it out for the cat. I sat with her while she smelled it. And then she started eating. And eating. And eating. And "asking" for more.

It's been over a week, and she hasn't thrown up once. She looks less gaunt. She doesn't beg for her wet food anymore.

Here's what I've learned since: There's been a rapid recall of cat and dog food across the gamut. Apparently there was some bad rice in China, and for a few months now it's been infecting pet food. Some cats and dogs have died. I have no idea if this was the problem, but the time periods match up. Bad Rice = Bad Vomit. Every item listed on the "stop feeding your pets these ingredients right now" list was in the regular store-bought food I've been buying for her.

"Junk food," the pet store owner told me with a gruff. "Cats don't need wet food. Everything she needs is in this bag.

Photographer: Alex Webb

My dad introduced me to Alex Webb. Well, actually, we got my dad the Alex Webb photography book for father's day because we had heard him talk about Webb before, which then inspired my dad to tell me all about Webb and explain to me why the gift we got him was officially the best gift ever.

But now I have an opinion of my own. I think Alex Webb is, officially, one of the best photographers ever. I know that's an adolescent way of describing my affection for his work, but girlish gushing is a sign of authenticity in my book of emotions. (Did that make sense?)

Anyway, we saw his show at a small gallery on 20th street and I had only a few minutes to swish through the halls before the event closed. It was a collection of photographs he took over many years visiting Istanbul. It was about the juxtaposition of a modernizing society within a highly religious context. And then some.I love his work because it's different. I love his work because I think a lot about cropping and whether information in an image is significant or not, and whether blurriness is a sign of life or laziness, and how emotions on a face tell a larger story than words on a page. These are issues that arise in Webb's work, and it felt like someone had plugged into my brain and produced high-quality, gorgeous images in response. I was so inspired by his images, and it will definitely affect my future work.

Webb still works in film and is just starting to venture into digital, now.

Movie: Beyond Eruv

Beyond Eruv is a documentary film about an 18-year old boy who decides to leave his Hasidic community and build a life for himself in the secular world. The film follows his struggles and roadblocks along the way.

I really appreciated this film. I was captivated by it. It's something I'll remember for a long time.

I saw it from the perspective of how we are so impacted by our upbringing and early education (or lack there of). It is a true "coming of age" story. It sheds light on how important it is for young people to receive support and structure. But too much or too little can have negative impacts on a person's life. After being raised in such a sheltered environment, and then entering a new life with virtually no guidance, can lead one to chaos.

It was as a movie about what it means to be a member of an insulated community, and what happens when one begins to question that upbringing. I feel it could have been any close knit society: Amish, Pentecostal, Hasidic. Even a gay child growing up in straight society! It doesn't matter what the community or what they preach, they all carry a similar thread of "expectation". If you don't fit into the framework of that expectation, then life will be hard for you as you struggle to find your place. It's a fact that some people who are born into that type of lifestyle don't belong in such a structured mindset. It has no baring on whether or not that society is "good" or "bad". This movie was a reminder that above all, we are all just people on quest for a sense of self.

What a fiery discussion this film raises, on so many levels. It's a film that its director, crew, and participants should be very proud of.

Watch the trailer here.

Video: Fun on youtube

Short YouTube videos you might like to see. They all made me laugh.

Chelsea Handler is hysterical. If you love Sarah Silverman, you'll love her just as much. She's dirty, witty, and smart. Here she interviews old people in a retirement home about pop culture. [Watch]


Comedian Paul Reddy (aka Brian Sack) is a clever man. This made me laugh so much, and I only wish I could see the whole film. I hear it's a half hour and available on DVD. Luckily, we get a peak of it on youtube for a few minutes. [Watch him interview a rock star]


The iphone is hitting the market this week, and commercials are everywhere. Conan O'Brien made a "mock commercial" about the new phone. It's funny. [Watch Conan]


Kyra Sedgwick talks about raising teenagers. Funny dance sequence. [Watch]



This girl is dumb. And then suddenly, John reveals how dumb she is. Watch the short movie to see what happens. [Watch]



Zach Braff does his very funny SNL opening monologue about New Jersey. [Watch]




Did you know he could sing like that?? Jack Gyllenhaal opens up with an UNforgettable SNL monologue.... Nice wig. Nice dress. Nice biceps. [Watch]


John Mayer reads the signs people are holding at his concert. Some girl gets lucky. [Watch]



A nice Jewish guy in Chicago is dating via youtube. Very funny. [Watch]

Video: Mac or PC movie

That mac guy is pretty hipster cute. But man, that PC guy can really bust a move. Who knew?

Movie: Flannel Pajamas

I had never heard of Justin Kirk or Julianne Nicholson before. But now that I've watched Flannel Pajamas, I will never forget those names. I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!

This was so beautiful, so achingly "real", such a sensitive script, such delicate acting performances. It's one of those movies that ends with a wish that these characters are really out there, living their lives, forever poetically living in the sky above New York City.

Kirk was AMAZING. So amazing. So handsome and classic. Nicholson was striking, and painfully personal. The story line made you think and question. The locations made you want to be there. The characters that surrounded them were unforgettable. What struck me most about this, is that there are warning signs everywhere about this relationship. As the viewer, you watch it, perplexed, wanting to scream out to the character, "Wait! Stop right there!" But when it comes to real relationships, it's the first 600 red flags that we usually tend to ignore. Which is what these naive people do. And ultimately, must face. Critics have written that they found that aspect annoying. I disagree. I think it's more like real life that any movie-love-story ever really successfully portrays.

You can bet I watched it two times in a row. And that in between watching it another time with the director's commentary (I was sick all weekend, what can I say?). I wish I owned this so I can watch it again.

It's the love story you were waiting for, pissed off about, yearning for, and trying to forget.

---

Director's Quotes: "[The film is] about the instant electricity between a couple on a first date and what happens over the next two years. It’s sexy, sad, comic and tragic in measures. It’s character-driven and dialogue-driven rather than story-driven — in its sensibility and style it’s a European film.”

Movie: Running On Empty

I was in my freshman dorm room, on the third floor. It was probably November 1, and Fall was setting in. It was late at night, and the window showed a black sky.

The message machine was blinking, and it was my mother's voice on the other end. "You need to call me," she said. Something sounded bad. I knew that tone.

I called home immediately, and my mother and my sister got on the line at the same time. "You need to sit down for this," my mother said.

"Why?"

"Really, sit," said my sister. So I sat.

"What happened?" I said, my heart beat quickening.

She paused. "River Phoenix died last night."

I'm sure they expected me to throw myself against my bed in convulsions, but to be honest, I was so relieved. The tension on the phone was so high I was certain they were going to tell me something had happened to my grandmother. So in that brief moment, I was at least able to tell the difference between the emotional reaction you access for the death of a loved one, and that reserved for the death of a celebrity.

However, at that time of my life, and for many years prior... many... I did love River Phoenix. I had his picture, torn out from magazines, all around my mirror. I read anything I could on him. Paparazzi then was an inch of what it is today, but I'm sure youtube would have gone crazy with cell phone footage that people would have of his death outside the Viper Room. But the famous story is that two photographers who were there actually held back from photographing him, out of respect, and tried to help instead by calling 911.

Last night I watched one of my favorite childhood movies, Running On Empty. To this day, I think this is absolutely one of the most beautiful films ever. I remember being profoundly affected by it in my teenage years. Who knew boys could be that sensitive! Movies in the 80's weren't always this character-driven, thoughtful, and quiet.

Because of this movie, I have always had a soft-spot for "Fire and Rain", the James Taylor song they all sing together in the kitchen. River acted with such tenderness and authenticity in all of his films, and especially this one. You can see his thoughts flash before his eyes, and emotions conveyed simply in the way he moves his hands. He is/was brilliant. Martha Plimpton was wonderful in this film too. They don't make young actresses like they used to.

Some things of note: The film was written by Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal's mother. I had no idea! And, it was filmed entirely in New Jersey. Who knew.

Websites: The Big Ones

These websites absolutely do not need my endorsement, so therefore I won't even include the href's. However, they continue to impress me, wow me, and encourage me to use their services. And I can't shut up about them.

Threadless.com
I've talked about them before. And since then, I finally bought one of their t-shirts. I love it! Maybe it's a little cheesy and not really appropriate for work. But guess who wore it anyway. And guess whose students said, "Hey, that's from the song 99 red balloons!"

Netflix.com
I always thought Netflix would be so much cooler if they started releasing movies online. So if I forgot to return my red envelopes before Thursday, I'd still have something to watch when I got home Saturday night and wasn't tired yet. Clearly, the company has telepathic connections to my brain, because I just found out, they took my idea! They have a big banner in corporate headquarters now that says my name with THANK YOU all around it in bubble letters. You're welcome NF. You're welcome.

Blogger.com
Wow, when I first started using blogger, things were so simple. You basically wrote, and posted. That was it. Since then they've added so much cool stuff. They just don't give up! Now they have this label thing to help you organize your posts, they provide separate links so you can see one page at a time, and they have this whole new archival system. It's great fun. I'm proud of them. I am.

Blurb.com
Oh my goodness, Blurb. Oh my goodness. This is my new addiction. Download their software and have fun making a book of your recent travels, or a wedding, or your cat. Make a little art portfolio for yourself. Import your flickr photos and put your photoblog in book form. Heck, turn your written blog into a book with one little button! Really, this thing is astonishing. And the final products are well worth the time it takes to put your project together. Though it's kind of expensive when you actually want to buy your book, it certainly is a timeless investment.

Sidestep.com
My sister introduced me to this website. She's a connoisseur of travel planning how-to's. Within minutes, I was so blown away by the user-interface of this domain. If you're a techy, an appreciator of web design, a smartie with a brain that values interactive organization, you are going to drool over this site. You'll probably buy a plane ticket just because you'll want to see what the shopping cart system is like. I love the way these pages are laid out, the way the content is organized and reveals itself to you in sections. I love it's simplicity and it's respect for the end user. I love the way it lets you refine your searches. I love the way it actually finds you great deals. Forget expedia. Use this one.


So in summary, all these websites lead me to one conclusion:
Ladies and Gentleman, we are officially living in the future.