Things I would like to see happen (to u and me) in 2008:
1. I don't want to put cashiers out of business, but I really, I mean really, love those self-checkout machines at the A&P. I also like it when there's a guy (or gal) standing at that little podium overseeing all the self-checkers, just watching over us, you know? like, angels or something. It makes me feel better. Like, if I run a box of Tam Tams over the laser beam and the bar code doesn't generate a price check, I know that all I have to do is look over my shoulder and my "angel" will run over and say something like, "step aside ma'am" and I will. And then they press some button or something, and everything works out in the end, and they say something like, "go ahead," and so I do. My wish for 2008 is that you will always have an angel behind you letting you know when it is safe to go ahead.
2. I would like to receive more self-address stickers in the mail from animal rescue league conservation forest children in peril organization companies. how do they know that exact moment when I run out of last year's cute kitten collection?
3. I would like to see youtube take off.
4. I would like to see certain people come back together: Brad and Jen. Donald and Carolyn. Heidi and Lauren. Angela and Jordan. Brit and Lynn.
5. I would like to learn how to play an F.
6. And sixthly, my wish for you is that you finally learn how to take your photos off your cell phone. Or even better, learn how to use the real camera you own. Yes. You. YOU.
7. I'm done. No, wait, wait! There's more!
8. I want to invent a hugely monumental e-business that makes me e-millions in a matter of e-months. And the only office supplies I want to have are a pile of purple post-its, 2 Ziploc bags, 1 change of clothes, a sharpie, 3 expo markers, and a dream.
9. Front row tickets to A CHORUS LINE. [check]
10. I can feel it. This is going to be our year. OUR YEAR, BABY! [for Prozac].
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