Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Life: Like an enzyme, I'm breaking down

I was in the supermarket today, and I got really, really upset.

I wanted to buy a green pepper. But they looked a little under the weather. Then I noticed they weren't organic. But the only place to buy organic green peppers was about a 15 minute drive away. That would mean more gas emissions. Then I started recalling some article I read about how certain colored vegetables are better than others. I couldn't remember which one. Was it white vegetables (cauliflower)? Or green ones? Or orange ones (carrots)? Or, was it not specific colors that mattered, but an array of colors, like a rainbow, that I was supposed to be ingesting?

I suddenly felt so fed up and frustrated.

Plus, I had once again forgotten my "save the trees" tote bag, and so would have to accept plastic again.

This was getting to me. All this pressure to stay healthy, keep the world safe, recycle, stay local, boycott, fight for the underdog, stock my trunk with tote bags, fill my fridge with non-soy products. I can't take it! These things are supposed to be done for our well-being and the greater good. But keeping track of all of it is a full-time job.

At first I was really excited when I made it a priority to start living more consciously. I embraced it totally. It was like the flood gates opened and I dove in head first.

Now, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of supermarket, starving, holding a wimpy green pepper, thinking about how there are so many ways I could have made better purchasing, sustainable, and economy supportive decisions in the process of making my silly little salad.

So, I guess, for purely selfish reasons, I decided to write down all the things I AM doing now, that I know are good for the environment and my own well-being.

GOOD: I changed all the light bulbs in my house. That wasn't hard. I bought a whole box of them, and as soon as they started dying, I replaced them with the kind of bulb that Al Gore told me to buy.
AND THEN SOME: Of course, I then had to remember to put the dead light bulbs in the glass recycling bin. And put the cardboard cases that the light bulb came in, in the paper recycling bin.

GOOD: I made it a goal to eat vegan for the summer. I won't call it a diet, and I won't call it a full-time commitment. But I was so moved when I learned about the exploitation of animals within the meat industry, that adapting this lifestyle was a no-brainer. I guess you could call it a political move. I don't feel the need to rescue every animal and I'll never say, "I won't eat anything with a face." But I am strongly against the unethical treatment of living things.
AND THEN SOME: It ain't easy. First you decide to go vegan. Then you have to start learning about proteins. And enzymes. And B-12. And multi-vitamins. And the downsides to too much soy. And the downsides to too much salad and not enough beans. And then you have to explain all this to people, who over and over say to you, "But you're not getting any protein," as if a carnivorous diet is the most nourishing way to eat in the world. It's not like the meat and dairy I was eating before was that good for me.

GOOD: I recycle as much as I can now.
AND THEN SOME: But then you have to find room in your small apartment for all the different bins. And you have to keep track of the garbage collection schedule on your block. I had a landlady once who was so strict about recycling, she used to take apart her ball point pens, because each part belonged in a different bin, she told me.

GOOD: I always look for opportunities to say, "No thanks, I don't need a bag."
AND THEN SOME: I have got to start remembering to put those tote bags back in the car.

Oh, want to know the ending of the story?

I bought an orange pepper, non organic.
A bag of organic carrots.
One cucumber, non organic, but peeled the skin off.

And yes, I had to put all that and more in a plastic bag.

But that's OK.

I used it to clean out the litter.

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